June 7, 1951

Box 653

Loma Linda, California

June 7, 1951 -- 4 p.m.

Dearest Mother and Daddy,

Here it is a week and a day since last I wrote, and I have had two letters from you. I was going to answer your other letter as soon as it came, but felt so awful and kept thinking I'd feel better and didn't want to write until I did. The antihistamines just postponed my cold, it seems, and what a funny cold it was -- just a little sore throat, not much of a runny nose, not much of a cough, but an awful headache. Guess it must have gone into my sinuses -- they don't feel completely clear yet, but I feel so much better, that it is wonderful. Sabbath I just stayed in bed most of the day, and did quite a bit of the day Sunday. However, now I feel much, much better and have been gadding around here and there.

Benton worked double shift until Sunday, then was off both cases Monday. He seemed to have a touch of the same cold, though his made the top of his chest seem a bit congested instead of going to his sinuses. He is a lot better now  - didn't stay in bed much, but hasn't put his name down for these four days. He has just worked around in the yard and house and done some business. Then we have just napped when we felt like it and taken things easy. We feel pretty good now.

The best news you have written us is that you are so much better, Mother. Do take it easy now that you can. Just let things go if it is too much for you -- that is what I have to do. It is hard, but it is the only way sometimes, and it is best just not to worry about it -- learn to accept it since it can't be helped.

The camp meeting sounded good too. It seems to me that a lot more people get a chance to attend when it is held right there in Phoenix. And the publicity is excellent and may be a means of winning many non-members to the Truth.

It was good to know that the youngsters at least got to Hawaii in one piece each. I'm glad that Norma had a chance to be with the J. C. for a while. They are cute, I think. Of course, it is puppy love, but as long as they aren't too silly, it is quite natural for them to have a little fun.

Mother, if the doctor told you to come back, you better go. Prevention is much better than cure, you know; and the modern idea is that it is much smarter to go to the doctor when you're not sick than to wait until you are sick.

I couldn't help but be impressed with Daddy's solicitude for his typewriter when it is too tired.

We were thrilled to jbiw tgat (whoops, my right hand started to get too close to my left) know that you have two new orders for GREAT CONTROVERSY. Maybe you'll have time to do more now with all the excitement at a lull. But don't get too complacent, because we are coming back for a few days, you know, to stir things up again.

There are a lot of things that I intended to bring but didn't, I find. My black skirt is probably still in the closet and my plain skirt, unfinished, is somewhere. I have the pieces here. We can get them along with any number of other things when we come.

The cannas must be very lovely. do you suppose they will still be blooming when we get there? We have quite a few flowers -- roses, carnations, gladiolas, geraniums, petunias, snapdragons, etc. I'm going to have to learn how to take care of them.

Our wedding album came today, and we are quite thrilled with the pictures. We have to get a list ready so that they can send pictures to the relatives and friends that we are giving one to. We decided to have some of the ones of us together standing -- they are cheaper by the dozen.

We are busy these days, as this weekend is graduation at C.M.E. [College of Medical Evangelists, the former name of Loma Linda University], and Ceclia's folks [the family of Burt Gerrans, the brother of my dad's first wife, Mary], some of them, are coming down for the weekend. We don't know who or how many or exactly when, but we are trying to get ready. This morning we went to a market and bought a lot of food. At least I don't want them to starve, though I don't know how fancy I'll be able to serve them. Benton is quite satisfied with the Eldridge milk-bottle-cereal-box-on-the-table style, and he always helps me. But I'm not going to let it worry me. I'll just do the best I can, and if they don't like it, I'll just think they wouldn't anyway and not worry about it. If they are like Cecelia, they will be all right.

Yesterday we did the town. We tried to exchange a lamp shade, but couldn't find out where it had been bought. We also spent some of our wedding present money for a dandy clothes basket that isn't a basket. It is a metal foldable rack with an open canvas bag on it, and is quite wonderful. We also got a food grinder and some little gadgets that I wanted. It was a lot of fun, and Benton was the model of patience. Then last night we went over the Jerry and Helen Seibert's to see some of our honeymoon pictures on their projector. We really have some good pictures of Oak Creek Canyon. We have a few of our wedding too, though they are a bit spoiled because we opened the camera trying to get the film out. Anyway, they are worth having, and that is something.

This morning I made some toll house cookies -- chocolate chip, and this afternoon I want to get some other things ready that can be fixed ahead of time. Then I have to wash my hair too. I intended to write to you sooner. Now I'm afraid you won't get this until Monday, and am greatly ashamed of myself. Do forgive me. I do love you anyway.

Benton surely is a wonderful husband. The Lord surely knows what is good for us better than we do. I'd never have picked him out in a million years, but he is certainly making me happier than ever I have been before.

I still have 28 thank you notes to write to Phoenix people, then I'll start with the Loma Linda list! I really didn't have time to be sick. It seems as if I keep busy all of the time, though a lot of my busy-ness is resting. I am walking better and longer, though the improvement is still gradual.

Well, I guess that's enough for this time. Do keep praying for us as we do for you.

Much, much love,

(signed) Lois Ruth and Benton

May 30, 1951

Box 673

Loma Linda, California

May 30, 1951

Dearest Mother and Daddy,

I've been so busy trying to get my thank-you notes written that it looks as if I have neglected my own mother and daddy. And I still have a lot more of them to write -- 36 more for the gifts received in Phoenix, then I have to start on those for the gifts received here.

Yes, they had a surprise shower for us last Sunday night. Benton was working, but when he came home for supper, the crowd gathered. They had made arrangements with his patient and his patient's family so that he could stay beyond his half hour supper time. We got a lovely floor lamp, a tablecloth, a couple of tidbit trays, a couple of potted plants in these fancy pots, a fancy marmalade dish and cover and spoon, a set of "his and hers" towels, and a fancy flat vase with a little fawn in the middle of it. That I have filled with flowers now -- carnations and roses that I picked yesterday. They had a nice little program and wished us happiness. It surely was nice of them. People around here surely think Benton is a pretty nice fellow, but they don't know the half of it. He is really wonderful. I was afraid that perhaps people might resent me, but they don't seem to. Everyone has been very lovely.

Last Friday we went to see Dr. Nickel. He had said that he would like to see me. He was very nice, as usual. He said that the reason I waddle is that my quadriceps are weak, and he gave me some simple exercises to strengthen them. That will help my joints too, he said. He said that they wanted to do a bone graft when they put the plate in, but they didn't think I could stand it then. He said that I could come in to see him any time when he is here and ask him any questions that might pop up. He surely was nice -- acted glad to see me.

Sabbath we went to the college church, then Benton had to go to work in the afternoon. Toward evening Bob and Irene McEachren, who used to live in Benton's apartment, and whom I knew at CJC [the college in Alberta, Canada, where Mom had taught and where she first met my sister and my dad's family], came over. They are in LA now where he is a junior medical student. They seemed to be very happy for us.

Then Sunday night was quite an occasion. Mrs. Simon, the assistant dean of girls, told me that the news of our marriage made her happier than that of any other. Everyone was so nice.

Monday morning we did a huge washing. Benton showed me how to work the machine -- it is an Easy with a spin drier. My, but it works lovely! I'm already sold on it -- wishy you could have one, Mother. Benton hung up all the clothes, and did a lot of the rest of the work, too.

Monday evening a call came from a new hospital near Beaumont for Benton to take care of an accident case. He thought that he would be off his case at the San in a day or two, so said he would take it. Then he discovered that his patient here at the San was going to surgery again. That means he is working double shift, and I don't like it at all! However, we hope it won't be for long. He says the work isn't hard -- could have done all the work on both shifts in about two hours yesterday. He gets a little sleep on duty, so that makes it not quite so bad. But it seems as if I never get to see him at all any more, and don't like that a bit!

The last few days I have been trying to get a cold -- why, I don't know, as I have been getting plenty of rest. However, I've been taking antihistamine, and it hasn't been too bad. We don't get to bed until 11:30 now, then Benton gets up at 5. I wake up then, and we have worship before he goes, then I go to sleep again. This morning I slept until nearly 11! I sort of baby myself -- just stop when I get tired.

Yesterday, I thought it would be a good idea to get outside, so spent about a half hour out picking flowers. Today I watered quite a bit in the flower beds and sat outside and wrote a couple of thank-you notes.

Keyes [Mrs. Keyes was the other woman who was injured in The Accident] were here today -- she was on her way to see her doctor. He has fixed her up pretty well. They said that Lloyd [Mom's sister's widower] was planning to come down June 15 for a few days to try to sell his house. They also said that the lawyer had said that our case might not come up until next Spring!

I really felt guilty today when your second letter came since I had written. Your other letter with the kids' [Norma and Lawrence, Mom's niece and nephew] schedule in it came Sabbath. I would have loved to be at Inglewood to see the kids, but Benton was working. Then too, it was pretty late -- we wouldn't have got home until after one o'clock Monday morning.

Mother, I'm so sorry you have been sick again. Maybe now that things have calmed down, you will have a chance to start feeling better again. I wish that there were something that I could do. At least you have that syringe, and that is a comfort.

Last Friday I made my first cake -- made it with a Betty Crocker cake mix, but think I must have beat it too much, as it had a few holes in it. Anyway, it tasted good. I used the Mixmaster, and didn't know exactly how it worked. I'll know better next time. I think I may get up courage enough to try a regular cake with a recipe -- have to get in practice so that I can make one for our son's [Omar] birthday July 4!

While Keyes were here, we got to talking about Lloyd and the present set-up. They, too, think he should remarry -- and MK[edited for privacy] was the one they had picked out! Harold thinks he may kid Lloyd a little when he is down and tell him he should get on the ball and ask MK. We thought he might take it from Harold better than from anyone else. And you know how slow Lloyd can move when it comes to such things. Karyl told Charlie Keyes that she didn't like the set-up too well, or something of that idea. Poor little kids [Mom's dead sister's kids] -- it has been pretty hard on them too. Probably Cherie minds it the least of all of them because she was too little to remember much.

This country surely isn't so hot as Phoenix. Tonight it is really chilly, though it was warm and sunny today.

Our pictures came back, and they are really pretty good -- those, that is, that we took. We haven't seen them on a [slide] projector yet. When Benton gets off his p.m. shift, we'll go visit the Sieberts and get a look a them. They are the people who lent us the camera, and they have a projector. They are a nice young couple -- younger than I -- and have a darling little youngster not quite 2 yet, but taking everything -- a smart little tyke. She is a physical therapist, so if I get in a jam for that kind of professional advice and muscle training, she would know just what to do.

Well, it looks as if that is about all the news. Do try to take care of yourselves, and don't worry about anything. We love you and pray for you every day.

Lots of love from both of us to both of you,

(signed) Lois Ruth and Benton

May 24, 1951

Box 653 [They didn't yet have mail delivery at the house!]

Loma Linda, Calif.

May 24, 1951

Dearest Mother and Daddy,

Here it is a whole week since we left. In lots of ways it seems longer than that, and in other ways the time has surely flown.

It was so wonderful to talk to you last Sunday. We were going to call before that, but something would come up that it would make it too late before we got to it, and we didn't want to get you so excited that you couldn't go to sleep. We were so glad to know for sure that you were better, Mother, and we have been praying that God would give you both the strength you need to get the children [her brother Paul's children, Norma and Lawrence, who had been staying with their grandparents -- Paul and his wife, Retha, were in the Far East, in Japan at that time, I think] ready to leave. It hardly seems possible that they will really be going next Sunday or Monday. Which airport will they take off from in L.A.?

We are getting along just wonderfully. Benton has worked only a day and a half, so we are still having our honeymoon, only now he thinks I am a pretty good cook -- better than he expected, he says. I really haven't done anything very fancy yet, but I do get around better all of the time. You'd laugh to see me sitting on the stool by the stove mashing the potatoes or trying to get something flavored right. He helps me a lot. He is about as near perfect as they come. He surely is a wonderful husband. It seems as if we are happier every day.

I had forgotten that I knew so many people here in Loma Linda. Just about everyone had heard about us, and they all seem very happy about it. The neighbors around are just as nice as Benton said they were. We got here about 9:30 Thursday night; and while we were still unpacking, the three ladies from across the street came over to congratulate us and wish us happiness. They are really lovely. One of them teaches the 6th grade, another is the librarian at the Academy, and the other is Fern Millard's mother. They are very lovely. Next to them across the street are a couple who were pioneer missionaries in Manchuria -- the Petersens. They came over to wish us happiness and brought us two lovely towels and wash cloths. Down the street from them are two Miss Scotts -- sisters of Howard Lee's wife -- the Howard Lee's were teaching at CJC when I was. He is Frederick Lee's brother. One of them came yesterday and brought us a can of peaches and three cans or glasses of jelly, and the other brought a nice bouquet of Canterbury bells.

The people that live in our apartments are nice too. Upstairs is one of Benton's classmates and her husband, and downstairs is a young couple with a cute baby 6 months old. She is Dr. Ward's nurse, and he is taking pre-med at La Sierra. He worked as an orderly at the San [the Loma Linda Sanitarium and Hospital, as it was then known] when I was in the hospital and came in a time or two to help turn me. They are nice too.

Friday we went to the Loma Linda Market to get something to eat and met everyone and his brother. Elder Pease was there and asked about you folks. Then we went to see Monty's wife for a couple of minutes and then to see Mary and Dick Runnels and their cherub. That night Mary and Mrs. Zerne, the supervisor on surgical floor, came to see us, and Mary invited us to her house for Sabbath dinner.

We went to the Hill church Sabbath so that I wouldn't have to climb a lot of steps and saw quite a few people there that we knew. When we got the mail after church, there was a card from Cecelia saying that May 6 she had had her appendix out and wishing that we could come to see her. We went that afternoon and stayed for an organ program -- Alexander Schreiner from Salt Lake City Tabernacle played. That was a big day for both of us, but we survived and resolved not to do it too often. Sunday night we went to the capping at the Hill church -- 20 got their caps. It was really inspirational, but guess I'll have to be satisfied to be married to a nurse instead of being one myself.

The other night Mr. and Mrs. Spear came to see us. He is a nurse -- the one who used to special a man across the hall from me when I was in 111. They are nice people. Monday night we went up to the hospital to see Mrs. MacQuarrie. She is the one who wanted me to be her guest in the hospital for one day and gave me a check for $15.00. She is back in to have her colostomy closed -- was supposed to have surgery Wednesday morning. She was pleased to see us -- said she suspected something. She had it all figured out that Benton came at first in sympathy, and then with other intentions. She put it so sweetly. She was happy for both of us. We took her some roses.

Yesterday Mrs. Ward and Lavaun came and left us a card with a $10 bill in it. Wasn't that sweet of them? They wanted to know about you folks. They are moving into a place about 5 miles the other side of Redlands -- I think it is Dr. Carlisle's place. They will have a swimming pool, and invited us out sometime.

Everyone has been wonderful to us, but we don't get much work done. I have about a dozen thank-you notes written out of the 70 that must be taken care of. Gradually I'm getting them finished. I don't do much else except get meals, and Benton gets what little breakfast we eat. He declares he is happy with fruit and several kinds of dry cereal. Whenever I get tired or sleepy, I just go to sleep -- talk about a life of leisure! Anyway, we are glad we did it -- we both think the other one is better than we expected even; and as far as we feel, it seems that there isn't even very much difference in our ages.

Yesterday we got your letter and the syringe. The postcard came Monday, I think. Benton wants to thank Norma for her letter too. It came day before yesterday, I think. Thanks for sending on Willetta William's card. She didn't give me any address so that I can answer it. Maybe she will write again.

It surely will seem lonesome without the kidlets. Give them our love. We wish we could see them off. Lawrence must be really thrilled with his clarinet. I'd love to hear him play it.

You should see our lovely flowers. Today Benton picked our first gladiola -- a lovely white one. We have all kinds of roses, sweet peas, pansies, snap dragons, peonies, carnations, and just about everything. Last night I climbed the hill to look at the garden and trees. You must come to see us sometime.

Well, I guess I'd better stop and get my husband some dinner. He surely isn't very hard to cook for.

We both send love. Do take care of your sweet selves. We don't want anything to happen to you.

Lovingly,

Lois Ruth and Benton

Introduction by the Arlan Wareham, Lois Ruth's son, the editor

This blog will feature the words of my mother, Lois Ruth Eldridge Wareham (and, much later, Hubbs) that she wrote in letters to her mother in the 1950s. I'm quite sure that I do NOT have ALL the letters, but I do have most of them.


I will try to keep the editing to a minimum. I have made some minor grammatical and spelling corrections. My mom didn't make that many of them anyway because she had been both an English and a typing teaching. Most of the letters were typed (which helped me a lot!). In some cases, I may leave out information that either seems too tedious or that might still be considered private. Of course, most of the people she mentions have long since passed (as has my mom). I will also insert comments from time to time, in square brackets [like this], to give some additional information about what she is talking about.


Before the first post, I think it would be good to give a little background on my mom, my dad, the general situation, and the important events that had happened to them before these letters were written. This will help to reduce the comments needed within her text and will make many things much more understandable.


In 1949, my mom, at the age of 32, had finally been able to realize a long-time dream of hers and had begun nurses' training in Loma Linda, California. Unfortunately, within 7 months of starting she came down with her second bout of tuberculosis and had to withdraw from the program.


At first, she was hospitalized in Loma Linda, but it was decided that it would be better for her to be in a specialized facility for TB near her parents, who lived in Phoenix, Arizona. On April 28, 1951, she began her trip from Loma Linda to Phoenix. Her sister, Florence, had a new car, so she was driving her. My mom, being sick, was lying in the backseat (there was no such thing as seat belts in those days, of course!). Two other women went along for the ride, sitting in the front seat with Florence (cars ALL had only bench seats then). The other two were Mrs. Keyes and Mary Wareham, my dad's first wife.


In the desert of the Coachella Valley the highway was a mere 2-lane road in those days. There was a sandstorm, and, for reasons which are still unclear, their car clipped the back wheels of an empty tanker truck that was going the opposite direction. Florence and Mary were killed instantly, and my mom and Mrs. Keyes were badly injured, having both been thrown out of the car by the impact. Both of my mom's femurs (the big bones in the upper parts of the legs) were broken. This is the event that is forever known in our family as "The Accident".


My mom was not able to even stand after that for more than 10 months of hospitalization. However, my dad began visiting her in the hospital, and a romance began to blossom. At first blush, this would seem to be about as unlikely a relationship as one could imagine. My father was nearly 23 years older than my mother and already had 2 grown children, Bethel and Omar. Bethel was about only about 5 years younger than my mom. Nevertheless, as you will VERY soon see in her letters, this was actually about as close to a marriage made in heaven as you get. And I can heartily confirm this from my OWN observations growing up with them.


They were married in Phoenix only a little more than a year after The Accident, on May 10, 1951. After their honeymoon, my mom went to live with my dad in his house in Loma Linda (the same one where I grew up, as you will also see later). The first letter to her parents that I have is date May 24, 1951.


I hope you enjoy this glimpse of life in our family. I haven't even read all the letters yet, so I'll be learning things about my early life that I don't remember, of course. Join me!